IS THIS ALL I NEED

Most of the time I am content to continue with the activity of writing words in a notebook, rediscovering old lyrics and songs, re-engaging with recent ones and deciding on the songs that, if I had sufficient funds, I would like to arrange to have arranged - albeit with the associated problem of getting the arranger I would like to do the arrangement

And the initial aim of getting some of the material out there and heard has I suppose been achieved Perhaps for myself, I should check up on the various sites and record some of the details of that achievement at this stage of the endeavour But it will not happen soon

I am assisted in my rather lackadaisical attitude by my daily visits to Tony Currie's Radio Six International at www.radiosix.com Because most days he uses one of my songs - at some time during the day or the night - and it has a most desirable and calming affect on how I view my creative exploits 

Also, over recent months I have chosen not to inform PRS of the material which I have written or which has subsequently been played on the radio And I have questioned my seeming lack of drive or interest in doing so The reasons are of an intertwined nature and it seems, as i write this, I am not motivated to untangle them! Although I can say that the main one is probably a lack of interest in what might be achieved

My main interest as far as I can understand it - is to be around should that one good and relevant -to -the -lives -of -others lyric arrive at my door 
To be around to receive it and be able to work on it (without spoiling the gift) and get it worked on by others  - by musicians - who will recognize its value and make it into something special - and that will last

And that I assume is the notion which inspires most makers of songs

Which leads me to mention a song which I hope will get worked on eventually by someone who has worked magic with other songs of mine 
It has been around for a long while but was recently mastered and in the meantime I am considering uploading it as a single acoustic track to Bandcamp 
Indeed all of the above words may only have been written to lead me to where I might say this and do that  

But I do also want to mention a lyric - I suppose it could be called that - which arrived at my door a few days ago 
It is my intention to record it - if it can be managed from this location -as a spoken word track as soon as possible More about this another time

STILL I LOVE YOU

Towards the end of the post IS THAT ALL I NEED I mentioned a song which I was considering uploading to Bandcamp It was this one, STILL I LOVE YOU

However I then discovered it had not (as I had wrongly asserted) been mastered And during the time I was arranging for this to be done it acquired two pals They are DON'T SIGH (EVEN SLIGHTLY) and MY LOVE IS VELVET Both had been mastered and were just hanging around with nowhere in particular to go 

And the three old love songs- which were recently re-recorded - are now together on Bandcamp 

The way I have set up the tracks on Bandcamp means they can not be downloaded separately 

The link is https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/album/still-i-love-you

AND

And if you would like a song what better than Frank Sinatra singing COME FLY WITH ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euci0_BBmNE

EXCEPT FOR

The path to the beach

NO MORE- FOR A WHILE

    The beach

IN STEPPED SHARON

See it works! Into the space which was created from dealing with the sadness stepped Sharon - and she came all the way from Australia

And the song that went down a treat was BAD GIRL BLUES 

If you would like to check it out it can be heard on Bandcamp using the link 

https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/track/bad-girl-blues

IT'S NOT ALL SADNESS

When is a statement never misleading?
My words about my attempts to deal with sadness have misled some who read this blog
I guess they missed the comment in a previous post which suggested that ' love and sadness Often sing in tune'
Love then is also my business and of the two I know which one I prefer to be in  
And as I provided an example of a song which dealt directly with sadness I began looking for an equivalent example of my relationship with love - but there are so many I gave up

WAKING TO WONDERDOG

Wonderdog from Australia fulfills the dream of my songs being liked by a total stranger Well he has bought lots of them on another occasion but this morning I awoke to find he had purchased OUT THERE SOMWHERE. That is special for me and I am enjoying it to the full. Way to go Wonderdog!

OUT THERE SOMEWHERE

Forget SAD and SADDER but hold on to SANE

After a delicious coffee at a place I call THE JELLY BEAN (not its real name) an alternative title appeared out of nowhere

The new title for the small group of three tracks which were uploaded onto Bandcamp yesterday (overall playing time only five minutes) is now OUT THERE SOMEWHERE 

But as it took me so long to explain in a previous post why I initially chose the title SAD SADDER and SANE I am choosing not to delete it 

And as you will be aware: in changing the title I have undoubtedly moved on - a bit

PS The link to hearing the three tracks on Bandcamp is https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/album/out-there-somewhere

THE LEATHER CHAIR

The recent comments on sadness were preceded by those I intend to post here today Again not to linger on the subject but as part of giving it its say, acknowledging it, understanding where it came from - in the hope of being somewhat free of its active presence -and possible undercover influence

As an aspiring song writer I am also open to the idea that the act of doing this might not only bring about a change in my relationship with sadness but may change how it chooses to appear in my songs!

Sadness is my business

I don't sell it

I just live it

It came to me some time ago

It walked into my living room

Sat down upon a leather chair

And tuned in to the scene

Others may have noticed it

If so they never spoke of it

That's the way that many like

To be when it's around

Sadness is my business

I don't want it

I just have it

It's there some days when I awake

I give it space to have its say

But since you left

It likes to stay

Reminding me it's nothing new

Whatever I might try to do

Its never far away

Believe me I'm not fond of it

Am fearful it might become

Like some devoted ally

In the tale that must be spun

It's part of what I signed up to

When I appeared out of the womb

And realized that love and sadness

Often sing in tune

Sadness is my business

It finds it's way into my songs

Where, if it has a use at all,

It speaks to those who try

To keep it from their door

Who like a peek but only if

It isn't theirs to own

Sadness is my business

It came to me some time ago

It walked into my living room

Sat down upon a leather chair

And tuned right in to me

TRYING - BUT NOT VERY HARD

Nowadays when I see myself in a mirror, or more alarmingly, reflected in my ipad before the icons appear, I see the kind of woman I would prefer not to know

But in the photograph I am trying out here and on Bandcamp - the Picasa CinemaScope facility has chopped off the top and bottom for me and in the process thankfully removed several chins  As a result, I see someone I might have liked and it makes me wish I had tried harder to do so when I knew her back then

This information - as with all the rest that I have put on this blog may only be of interest to me And if so I have decided that is OK - why not?

But obviously there has also been an underlying wish for it to be of some value - in some way or other - to others And after writing the bit about trying harder to like myself - I wondered if the sentiment expressed might also be of use to someone else Someone who, on this day in July, might consider having another go at liking themselves - just as they are right now
And I might do the same 

And if you would like a song to go with the sentiment expressed what about the old and very sentimental STAY AS SWEET AS YOU ARE 
The links below are for three different versions from You Tube

The first is a 1934 recording by Ambrose and His Orchestra (with a Sam Browne vocal) This is followed by Nat King Cole and the third (and my favourite) is by Ruth Etting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8Qrtdt1hxo 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VQtc2Ajkj4&list=RD5VQtc2Ajkj4#t=47

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqf872Y__Fs  

If the comments are of no interest I hope you'll like the music

GIFT FOR A GOOD GIRL

It was probably about the beginning of 2009 when I began to make a determined effort to get some of my songs heard  Until then, on one level, I thought of them as having been put aside while I was involved in a more important activity But I also always felt that if I survived long enough I would want to do something with them

When I eventually returned to them I was not yet free of other responsibilities and the first attempts to get them 'out there' were rather disorganized and hesitant  There was much to learn 

That learning process was accelerated with my introduction to Bandcamp - although this did not happen until 2011  

Bandcamp, of all the sites I have used then and since, provided the kind of facilities which fitted well with my way of doing things Songs could be uploaded as wav files, photographs and text could be easily changed

The payment arrangements on the site are the only ones I have never understood but as I have so far in my life not been interested in obtaining money for what I want and choose to do that was not a problem

When thinking about the songs getting them heard the desirable scenario was one in which a total stranger who knew nothing of me or my work would inadvertently hear one of my songs and like it - a lot  And this has happened many times now

But the purpose of this post is not to provide me with an opportunity to boast - although I am presently not against finding some positives in what I do - the comments are intended to set the scene for the introduction of some statistics from Bandcamp 

In the screen shot below, which I took on Wednesday July 22nd, can be seen how many times the songs on Bandcamp have been visited (they do not always get a complete listen) between April 2011 and July 2015  These are the top ten

And top of the list is  . . . .BAD GIRL BLUES!

Which reminded me that a good friend gave me a gift after hearing the song and thinking - mistakenly - that I was the bad girl in the story  She probably wanted to reassure me that I was not all bad - which of course I knew 

I can however identify closely with some aspects of the bad girl's situation and I do find the lure of life as a blackbird in a little nest with no doors very appealing 

Below is a photograph of the gift I received

The song BAD GIRL BLUES can be heard on Bandcamp using the link below https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/track/bad-girl-blues

SAD SADDER AND SANE

Caution: convoluted comment

On deciding to call this post SAD SADDER AND SANE

Once again, I can't be sure which came first. Did I decide to put three tracks together and upload them on Bandcamp - which meant I would need a title and an image? Or did I decide to use the Sap blog to explore the idea of putting three tracks on Bandcamp- which meant I would need a title and an image?

But whichever came first I do know that I had got stuck with the title and if I intended to use it - it would require some sort of explanation  Or I might try to find another title - which for some reason did not appeal. Or I might ask myself the question: do I really need to explain the reasoning behind the choice? And the answer was yes

No one I am sure will dispute that there is a lot of sadness around in the world - and there's not much one can do about much of it  

And, as can be imagined there is loads of information on line about different kinds of sadness Of all I read I liked 'sadness is like a fingerprint - it is unique'  and ' I hate long bus rides. It makes me sad in ways I cannot understand' 

And if you have got this far you may be ruminating on your own particular brand while I get back to the kind of sadness which finds its way into my songs

And that is also a sadness about which, at times, I can't do much 

But I do know that attempting to avoid or deny it can lead to it getting played out - albeit often unconsciously - in ways that can impact negatively on others And that this can create even more sadness - so that is definitely something to avoid whenever possible 

However, acknowledging its existence does not mean I want to dwell on it, dote on it or devote myself to it - I want to understand it best I can, be alert to it and recognize it within myself - whether it be old sadness, new sadness or a confluence of both And along with the acknowledgement comes the hope that by giving it space and opportunity to have its say the prospects for moving on from it - for reaching a more sane and less sad situation -will be improved  

The three combined tracks with the title SAD SADDER AND SANE are very much in line with that intention

So, sadness has its say in the first track  And it gets a further opportunity in the second one  But in the third track the sadness gets left behind and love takes over with the overriding mood being one of tenderness laced with a sense that sanity will eventually prevail 

To be more specific about the tracks: the first is a recent acoustic only version of a song entitled GO ON THEN This is followed by the spoken word track OUT TO THE WILDS (featured in the previous post) and the third and concluding track is the WILD BISCUIT version of WHERE THE LAST TIDE RUNS  

Track three also has the subtitle A SONG OF TLELL and that has dictated the choice of another image of clouds - this time of Clouds over Tlell 

The photograph is by Jennifer Davies of Tlell 

I had been considering the upload and the writing of this post for several weeks The reasons for the delay are many but now that the tracks are out there perhaps, in keeping with my ideas on the subject, it will allow me to leave behind some of the sadness expressed 

The link to hearing the three combined tracks on Bandcamp is
https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/album/out-there-somewhere

PS  For anyone not familiar with my songs -  sadness features in many of them - although it does not always receive direct mention 
Perhaps the song which does address the subject most directly is the one entitled THERE'S AN OLD SADNESS IN ME  It can be heard on the Bandcamp link at
https://sheilakcameron.bandcamp.com/track/theres-an-old-sadness-in-me-2

COULD THIS BE THE ONE

It could be that I have spent more hours looking for a book in which to make notes and write songs than I have spent writing the notes and the songs

Over the years many have come close to what I wanted but they were either too heavy or the lines were too far apart or the edges were too sharp or they did not fit comfortably alongside the pens I usually carry - in the bag I usually carry 

Then, last week, I found the book which is featured in the image below and because this blog is about songs and images I have used it to combine a photograph and some words - as can be seen below

The words for OUT OF THE WILDS are the first to be written in the new book The photograph of Clouds over the Rockies has been superimposed on the inside cover

And with those comments I can now prepare the post which will follow this one 

Once the words in the book had been recorded as a spoken word track and left to cool for a while I felt they were in need of some companionship

Of the companions I chose one track is old and one is new  There will be more about them in the next post 

In some respects what I want to say there is also related to a search - but of a different kind The title of the post has not yet been settled but SAD SADDER AND SANE has been considered

The three tracks may also be uploaded to Bandcamp 

THE WINDOW OF THE ROOM IN WHICH . . .

One of the disadvantages of writing songs is that they can get stuck in your head and you find yourself going over words which sometimes- by putting them in a song - you had hoped to leave behind

Much better to have a song in your head that someone else wrote and which you really love  And that you would like to record. How Deep is the Ocean is that kind of song and recently it has been with me most days

I cannot recall if the song got there after revisiting a photograph of the house where I lived as a child - or if I revisited the photograph after hearing it in my head But I do remember the first time I ever heard the song 

It was being played by an older cousin on the piano in the linoleum floored parlour of my home 
I was probably about nine years old and of all the memories I have lost or have chosen to forget this one has never gone away
I thought then - and think now - it is a beautiful song 

The photograph below is a screen shot of the house and the street where I lived as a child and although the window frame (down left) has changed it is the window of the room in which I heard the song being played for the very first time

And because I was wondering if I might record it in a very simple way  - perhaps without any accompaniment - I did a search for the lyrics - although I was almost sure I had remembered them correctly 

And it was during the lyric search that I saw - as happens with all the most beautiful songs - that it had been recorded by numerous singers - and that Billie Holliday was one of them

With the lyrics confirmed (I will print them below later) I searched for Ms Holiday's recording of the song on You Tube and listened to it 
The link is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vEum7syn00 

It is splendid of course but of all those I listened to there were two which came close to what I had been hearing in my head 
These were a scratchy 1946 recording by Frank Sinatra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WICzHNSiG6o 
And what I think is a superb version by Ella Fitzgerald 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fY2EOIjeBE 

How much do I love you? I'll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?
How many times a day do I think of you?
How many roses are sprinkled with dew?

How far would I travel to be where you are?
How far is the journey from here to a star?
And if I ever lost you, how much would I cry?
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?

* "How Deep Is the Ocean " was a popular song written by Irving Berlin in 1932, and can be heard in the background of the 1933 film The Life of Jimmy Dolan. The song was introduced by Paul Whiteman and His Orchestra with vocals by Jack Fulton.

The song was written at a low point in Berlin's professional and personal life, and is among the select few of his numbers introduced on the radio rather than onstage or in film. The song is a series of questions posed in succession to one another, with the only exception being the second line, "I'll tell you no lie." The quote is from Wikipedia

PS It is co-incidental that the day I began searching for the lyrics for HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN -and listening to the recording by Billie Holliday - was July 16th 2015  And it was on the same day that I came across an article from the New York Times about her death 
Entitled ON THIS DAY July 18th 1959: it can be accessed with the following link 

http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/bday/0407.html

OUT TO THE WILDS - FOR PIZZA PIE

The previously mentioned words entitled OUT TO THE WILDS (they have been recorded and may appear on Bandcamp sometime) speak of the seeking of some peace of mind This post is about the seeking of a different piece - a piece of pizza pie

And I have been cautioned about describing in too much detail where it can be found Because one of the pleasures of arriving at the door of MOON OVER NAIKOON -where the pizza is made eaten and enjoyed - is that your search for it may have been difficult but it has been successful

But pizza is not all you will find there and while it is not my intention to itemize the various other delights on the menu it could be considered wicked not to mention the cinnamon buns

So get yourself to Haida Gwaii and try a piece of pizza pie It can't be bettered anywhere Might move you close to where despair No longer holds you in its beak and morsels of the peace you seek May land upon your feet

PS I republished this on July 11th as I wanted to keep it at the top of the posts

TOM and THE BISCUITS

The TOM is CONTI and the BISCUITS are John Saich and Mags Russell of Wild Biscuit Music www.wildbiscuit.com 

Below is a strip of information taken from the RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL July

10th's playlist (I have kept the image small and narrow in contrast to some of the others I have posted)

I don't check RSI everyday but I think this is the first time this track has been used on there - and that is excellent - whether it is the first time or the last 

The 'BISCUITS' provided the arrangement for the track and there is more about it on the web site at www.sheilakcameron.com

Mentioned a long time ago - it can also be heard on a blog at 
http://crivensjingsandhelpmaboab.blogspot.ca/2010/05/yesterday-i-heard-poem.html

RETURN TO TIREE and THE SONG THAT BELONGS THERE

There have now been three titles for the song which belongs with the island of Tiree - LIKE THE SEA ROLLING IN, YOU COME ON OVER ME and a TIREE LOVE SONG  But this post is not about the song It is about the place that inspired it

On my last visit to the island of Tiree - and who knows it might be the last ever - I wanted to find out if the feelings I had for the place many years ago would be aroused again They were and they were not

But there were three special moments

The first was the scene in the photograph below just minutes after arriving there by boat The photograph has been cropped but has not been altered in any other way

The second 'moment' came with being taken to a house which was on sale at the time From a few hundred yards away, approaching over an expanse of green grass, one could see a full washing line blowing in the wind and a small house overlooking the sea The scene brought with it thoughts that Tiree might be THE PLACE after all

The  photograph below was taken from the land surrounding the house

The third moment was not really a moment at all

It was more of a search for the place in the sand dunes where for days and sometimes weeks I had lived in a tent and spent the time doing nothing much more than sleeping eating drinking and washing in the sea

There are memories of playing guitar and singing at the nearby hotel for visitors from Kenya and I also have a vague memory of singing at a concert in bare feet

What I am certain about is the photograph below This is exactly where the tent was pitched  

Yes indeed -YOU COME ON OVER ME aka LIKE THE SEA ROLLING IN is a Tiree love song

SEA ROLL and A REMINDER

Arriving in a too hot city came the welcome and cool news that LIKE THE SEA ROLLING IN was being included in the Podcast referred to below

I responded by sending a thank you email to Bree Noble and her assistants at Women of Substance Radio

Bree responded with the following comment

The message below also arrived - but the words 'OF SUBSTANCE' got partially lopped off when I took a screen shot The lopping off was completed by me 

And I was reminded that Jennifer Clark (who can be found at www.jenclarkmusic.com) had chosen to work on this particular take of the song - and that the arrangement had changed it from being one of my usual word dominated tracks into something other For something other also read special

News of it being played also gave me an excuse to post again a cropped photograph of the sea rolling in over the rocks on the lovely island of Tiree It was provided by Isabel Whyte, a photographer from Glasgow Scotland 

CLOUDS OVER THE ROCKIES

The image being considered for the words OUT IN THE WILDS was cropped from a photograph taken from a plane flying between Vancouver and Masset 

The words, as said elsewhere, are being considered for an upload to Bandcamp 

There are just a few of them and while the spoken word recording is adequate it has not been mastered 

The image is being posted until a decision has been made about the words